To tell or not to tell, is the million dollar question as it relates to when you believe it’s the perfect time to share your breast cancer diagnosis with family or friends. Even more importantly, when do you share with your children?

For my husband and I, this was one of the hardest conversations we had to prepare for. So we lived in complete silence about my health issues for two months. We were afraid of not knowing what or how to tell our children this devastating news. Often we wondered if our children would think it was their fault, if they could potentially catch it, or even worse, if I would die.

Once we had a complete diagnosis and a treatment plan, we decided to share the news with them. We knew this would be a very emotional family conversation, so my husband took the lead as I sat between my children with my arms wrapped around them. The more and more he spoke, the more emotional I became.

Quite naturally as their mother, I felt like I had lost all control and I was unable to protect them. No mother wants to ever feel like they are incapable of protecting their children. Therefore, my husband and I vowed that we would stand as a united force and fight together.

As my chemotherapy treatments began, I became fearful of losing my hair. It is common in the African American culture that our hair represents our crown and covering. To know I would be stripped of that was completely devastating. My hair started shedding faster than I imagined. Before I knew it, patches of hair were falling out daily. So I proactively decided to go and cut off all my hair and go bald.

During this transition, I became cognizant of my daughter’s fears as well. She was always concerned if I would wear my head wrap, wig, or hat when we were going out in public. This was her way of trying to protect me from being hurt by others.

It wasn’t until this moment I realized my hair journey had not only taken a toll on me, but it also affected my 8-year-old daughter, Lexie as well. As we talked more openly about our feelings, we decided to create a children’s book, “No Hair, Don’t Care!” to express our journey, which also serves as a resource for other families as well.

Not only was this a therapeutic task for us, but it also taught us several meaningful lessons. We realized even with or without hair, all we needed was prayer, love and determination to get us through this together.

Today we’re more than authors, we’re survivors!