Diagnosed with breast cancer at age 44, Ruthy shares her experience including the importance of finding a tribe, a need for more dialogue in relation to fertility options during treatment, and the importance of speaking up and spreading awareness, particularly in West Indian/Caribbean communities.
To the woman whose name isn’t mama, but so desperately wants to be called that beautiful word, Mother.
My hope in sharing my story is to offer encouragement and remind others that we can get through the hardest of days.
I sat in her office completely caught off guard by the fact that she had scheduled an oophorectomy without any discussion. In fact, when I started treatment, no one ever mentioned any fertility options to me.
Recognizing that I never used to set healthy boundaries – What does that look like to engage in that process in an act of self-preservation, self-care and compassion towards self? How do I unlearn this old programming where I thought to put me first was a sign of selfishness? Forreal, to put me first has been a struggle!
I told myself I didn’t need a man to make me happy and that was true, but the life partner assigned to me wouldn’t walk away when I felt unworthy, struggled with self esteem and body image or when all the woes of survival came to disturb my peace.
So, here I am, two years out since getting the all clear, and now I’m faced with one more hurdle… total hysterectomy.
A personal narrative about cancer, fertility and grief.
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