Butchered, hurt, dismantled are all words that popped into my head while looking at myself in the mirror after surgery.

My body was not model perfect, but it was whole.

Now, I felt pieced together.

My breasts were noticeably uneven and the scars were deep and dark.

After spending some time being angry with cancer and what it had done, I decided to change my outward and inward look. I decided that no matter what I looked like on the outside, MrsBossLadi (my nickname) was still in charge. I was a warrior and if someone had an issue with the changes it was their problem, not mine.

A business was having a Breast Cancer Warrior Awareness Day of Courage where they offered beauty services to help those affected bring back the beauty they felt they had lost. I was picked to receive a mastectomy tattoo and allowed them to create the image they thought would be best. I didn’t want tattoo nipples because to me it was pointless if I can’t feel them. What they created was perfection for me and for my coverups. I wanted to walk around topless right then and there once it was done. If it wasn’t for COVID-19, I would have been topless all summer long!

I cried the ugly cry once I saw the tattoos in the mirror.

For once, I could look and see me and not scars.

My maintenance medications have made me gain some weight that I struggle to lose. Therefore, I have changed my mindset and wardrobe to enhance the features I like. My body is just a vessel to carry out the greatness that I have been tasked with.

Sexy is a state of mind.

I refuse to allow the outward changes to take away what cancer already has. Bald, chunky, or scared, I will straighten my crown and flaunt how sexy I am.