In 2017, I was diagnosed with stage IV metastatic breast cancer. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I knew there would be some changes.
From the beginning, my goal was to not appear “sick.”
I didn’t want people to look at me and treat me differently automatically, and I didn’t want my 10-year-old son to think I was dying right away. So I decided to keep my appearance up as long as I could.
When I went to the doctor, I would do my hair, make-up, and put on my cute clothes to feel good about myself.
Well, little did I know, my self-esteem was about to become a challenge.
I had my first surgery altering my body. Then, my second. Then, my third, etc.
They don’t tell you to prepare for permanent markings, scar tissue, and skin irritation.
They don’t tell you how the chemicals from the chemo and radiation can burn your skin permanently.
And then the ultimate loss happened — I lost my hair two years into my diagnosis. That was so hard because my hair represented who I was as a person.
I took pride in my natural hair and the weave I would buy if I decided to add some. All of the changes started to take away from my self-confidence. I had my moments of tears and feeling sorry for myself even though my husband would tell me I was beautiful and sexy.
Because we witness so many bad things every day in the breast cancer community, I had to remember life is so much more than my hair and my permanent scars.
My relationship with God is so much more than my outer appearance. Yes, some of us gained weight from steroids, lost weight from severe nausea, have missing teeth from the chemo, radiation skin burns, and so many other problems.
We would be lying to ourselves if we said we didn’t care because we do.
I always tell myself it could be worse and I still have life. Outside appearances are fixable, maybe hard financially, but fixable. I wish more hairstylists, barbers, make-up artists, nail techs, and others in the beauty community would have a “look good day” for people like myself to feel pretty.
Financially, it’s hard to have so many medical bills that include medication, doctor visits, physical therapy, etc. It’s hard to travel to all these places when your body is in so much pain.
That’s how I came up with the name “kourageouslyprettyinpink.”
I knew I wanted to get involved and help the women and men in my community whose bodies have been altered by cancer.
My dream is to help bring all kinds of different stylists together for a look good, feel-good day for one patient once a month.
We face and see death every day in the breast cancer community. Some may even say we’re selfish to think this way.
Nope, it’s only a small fraction of our story and our truth.
Don’t judge, but support someone you may know having a hard time with their self-image.
Cancer patients have many needs, wants, wishes, hopes, and faith in our lives. And I can only pray God will give us the vision to see inside our beautiful hearts instead of our outer appearances.
