Breast Cancer During COVID was a Lonely Place
Cancer is romanticized on television and in movies. When I was told I’d have to undergo chemotherapy for my breast cancer, I immediately thought of all the people who would be able to go with me – to keep me company, to sit and laugh with, to play games with, etc. The COVID-19 pandemic knocked down those preconceived notions and I attended almost all my chemo sessions alone. Cancer during COVID was a lonely place.
When I stop to think of the bright side, I think of my husband, my co-survivor. During active treatment, I was so focused on myself and what I needed to do to survive, I didn’t think about him and what he was going through. I didn’t stop to think about how afraid he must be. But I noticed what he did. He took care of me. He went to all the appointments he was allowed to attend. He took notes. He asked questions. He held me when I cried. He reassured me when I needed it. He told me I was beautiful when I felt disfigured after my mastectomy. He held my hand. He told me he loved me. He was present. I am grateful that he was by my side. I know others who had to go through treatment alone and I can’t imagine not having my husband with me.
My Co-Survivors Didn’t Make Me Feel Sick, Just Normal
I was also grateful for my physically distant co-survivors. Because of COVID and my compromised immune system, I wasn’t able to be with my family and friends. But I always knew they were there for me. From my son to my sister and brothers, to my parents – they called, Face-timed, and checked in regularly. My father started calling me every single day to check-in. My aunt sent a prayer each Thursday. My cousins and I kept in touch via text messages. My sister and I talked every day. My son, who had a one Face-time a month rule, changed it to once a week.
For me, I wanted to feel “normal” and I was thankful for the friends who sent silly memes or delivered my go-to order from our favorite lunch spot even though we couldn’t be together in person. We joked. We laughed. We had game night via Zoom.
I appreciated how my tribe of co-survivors normalized my life. They didn’t make me feel sick. They didn’t treat me differently and that attributed so much to my mental wellness.
Cancer sucks. COVID sucks. But I’m grateful for the co-survivors I have by my side. I’m forever blessed by their love and support.
