I was asked about dating after breast cancer.

At first, I tried to dress it up like dudes don’t care. Then, I had to make it plain.

I tried dating and this ish is hard.

I was in a relationship during my treatment that didn’t last and although he was a great guy, he didn’t have the emotional capacity to support me during my most challenging time. I held on to what I thought would last in fear that no other man would want a late-thirties, deformed survivor who would struggle to conceive.

It took therapy to separate the failed relationship from breast cancer robbing me of a chance of marriage and family.

Let’s rewind.

I was processing the fact I had breast cancer, dealing with the physical and emotional changes of treatment, coping in corporate America and coming home to coach a man to be the support I need.

NOPE — I’m not going to be able to do it!

I walked away from a ring (presented out of perceived obligation, not love) and chose the uncertainty of future happiness.

Fast forward, the ex moved on quickly, giving the next mate all the love and support I deserved, but I tried hard not to let it distract me. I continued to do the work. I prayed, cried, prayed, raged and cried.

A year or so later, love found me in a very content place. I told myself I didn’t need a man to make me happy and that was true, but the life partner assigned to me wouldn’t walk away when I felt unworthy, struggled with self esteem and body image or when all the woes of survival came to disturb my peace.

To be honest, I struggle to accept his love.

In my insecurities, I requested a break — I’m still “breaking” — and he honored my wishes while committing to cover me in prayer.

Yeah, I don’t have it all figured out and I take it day by day hoping to one day have my heart’s desires.

I could go on and on about the fear of infertility and dating without nipples but to wrap it up…for those who wondered, was there love after diagnosis — YES!