Describe your journey to diagnosis:
I was 38 in 2005 and my doctor decided to send me for my baseline mammogram two years early because I had a family history of breast cancer. My maternal aunt was diagnosed with breast cancer at age 50. After the mammogram showed clusters that were concerning, I had a biopsy and the results came back positive for breast cancer. I had the earliest stage DCIS, a lumpectomy on my left breast, reduction on my right for symmetry, 28 radiation therapy treatments and was put on Tamoxifen for five years.
What has been your biggest challenge on your journey?
My biggest challenge after first being diagnosed was fear of recurrence. Those fears became reality when ten years later in 2015, I had a recurrence in the same breast. This time it was stage 2. I had a total mastectomy of my left breast, TRAM reconstruction, eight chemotherapy treatments, and was put on Anastrozole for what was supposed to be five to ten years. I also was receive the Zoladex injection to keep my ovaries sleep because the cancer meds I was on required me to be in menopause. But this July, approximately four years later, I felt a lump the size of a kidney bean on my left chest. I went to the doctor to have it checked and am immediate biopsy was done and again, the cancer has returned.
I was surprised because I had a total mastectomy. But further scans also showed the cancer had metastasized to my bones in my hips, pelvic, and left femur. I had been experiencing bone pain and stiffness since being on the Anastrozole so I thought the pain I was feeling was a side effect of the cancer meds. Sadly it was cancer in my bones.
So now my biggest challenge is fear of the cancer continuing to metastasize to other organs. I recently was in the ER for dizziness and it was diagnosed as vertigo, but the CT scan they did showed a questionable spot on my skull that could possibly be bone metastasis. I’m currently on a pill form of chemo called Ibrance, and getting monthly injections of Zoladex and Flaodex, and taking Gabapentin to help with any nerve pain. I also get a monthly infusion of Zometa to help my bones.
What are you most grateful for?
I’m most grateful for the time God has blessed me with to still be here to make memories with my family. I can remember when I was first diagnosed in 2005 and I was so distraught thinking I may not live to see both of my children graduate high school. But God not only blessed me to see them both graduate, He also blessed me to see the birth of my 6-year-old granddaughter and my 3-month-old granddaughter. And both of my children are now adults, my son is 30 and my daughter is 25. So, I’m very thankful for God’s mercy and grace during this 14+ year journey.
What keeps you going on your bad days?
The thing that keeps me going is knowing I’ve had bad days before, but God brought me through it. So it gives me peace in knowing trouble don’t last always. My children and granddaughters give me the will and determination to keep fighting also. So I rest on days I’m not doing too good and what I can do I do, and what I can’t do I don’t worry about it.
What have you learned about yourself on your journey?
I’ve learned through all of this I’m a lot stronger and resilient than I ever thought I could be. And through being transparent and sharing my journey with people, it has really helped me to keep going. I try to inspire people by letting them know that no matter what they are going through don’t give up and keep pressing forward because better days are coming.
How has MBC changed your perspective on life?
Just recently being diagnosed in July 2019 with MBC it has made me think more of my mortality. I have concerns reading the statistics about the median survival being three years. But I’m so encouraged when I read others stories of people who are thriving well beyond that three year mark and it truly helps me. This is why I’m so glad I found your page on IG. I need all the encouragement I can get and it helps to see people like me in this community.
What do you want the world to know about living with MBC?
It’s not easy. I’ve dealt with chronic pain for a while now but it has gotten better. The side effects from the meds and treatment can be very debilitating. My energy level has plummeted and it’s not as easy to get things done as before. Now I find I have about a two-errand limit and then I’m exhausted and ready for a nap. This is my new normal and I will accept it just to still be here to love on my family.
What advice do you have for early-stagers, some who are afraid to learn about MBC?
Even though I thought with an early diagnosis MBC wouldn’t be in my future, I was sadly uneducated about the disease. I’m still glad my cancer was detected early because I’m just dealing with MBC 14 years later. So it’s the hand I’ve been dealt and I’m going to keep fighting until there’s no fight left in me. I’m the type who would rather know what’s going on than to avoid it.
Describe life before MBC in one word? Describe life after MBC in one? Explain your words.
Before: “Simpler” meaning although I was being monitored with mammograms and follow-up doctor appointments, it didn’t totally consume my time or life.
After: “Exhausting” meaning treatment will last for the rest of my life, until it stops working. I’ve had so many doctor appointments I can’t count them all. I feel as though I live at the cancer institute now, and with monthly treatments, bloodwork and scans that I’ll have every three months, it’s been really hard to mentally keep up with this new pace. But I’m sure after time my new normal will settle in. I’m still trying to work but it’s growing increasingly more difficult so I find it’s affecting every aspect of my life now.
