Describe your journey to diagnosis:
I was diagnosed with primary breast cancer (ER+ 8/8, HER2+) in August 2014. Then diagnosed with secondary breast cancer February 2019.. About November 2018, I had a cough that I put down to having a cold; typical to have at that time of year. The cough lingered, but I thought nothing of it. Health wise, I was fine.
I actually was doing lots at the gym (kettle-bells, spin classes, weight training) and running, as I was aiming to run four half marathons in 2019. It got to January and I still had a cough so my workmates told me I should go to the doctor. I made an appointment and the doctor said it sounded like I had a chest infection, so they gave me a week’s course of antibiotics.
After finishing the course, I felt worse than before I’d even taken antibiotics. So I called 111 (it’s not quite the equivalent of calling 911 in the States, but the level below it) and told them about my cancer history; that I’d felt awful, couldn’t get any food or drink down and when I was being sick, I was suffering from a tightening of the chest. So they sent an ambulance straight away and I was taken to A&E.
I had a chest x-ray where they discovered a large amount of fluid in both lungs and I was admitted to stay in hospital. Two days later, they drained 1L of fluid from my left lung and under 1L of fluid from around my heart. They took the fluid from my lung for analysis and a few days later, they confirmed they found cancer cells. A CT scan was conducted after that and a day later, they confirmed they found tumors in my liver and pleura. So not only was the cancer back, it had spread and I was stage IV after initially being stage II when first diagnosed with primary breast cancer.
What has been your biggest challenge on your journey?
Previously I worried about the cancer coming back, now it’s staying alive for as long as I can. When I got the news, I was devastated. Being in the cancer world, you meet a lot of people in the same boat and you sometimes see those people die, so I know only too well what stage IV meant.
What are you most grateful for?
I am most grateful for the life I have had already. I have done so many great things and seen so many great things.
What keeps you going on your bad days?
Knowing how much I am loved is what keeps me going. The thing that has amazed me through all this is the support from my friends. I had different people come to see me in the hospital everyday and driving across the country to see me. Even my cousin drove all the way from Germany with his family to see me. It’s made me realise how much love I have and it’s made me very very grateful. While I’m around, I want to spend it in the company of people I love and like as that’s the most important thing.
What have you learned about yourself on your journey?
I’m stronger than I think and give myself credit for. At the time, my Mum was telling me to stay positive, which really annoyed me and I didn’t find comforting at all. It’s as if my sadness and fears was being dismissed rather than listened to. Now, I know that my Mum was trying to put on a brave face more for her than for me as she admitted recently that she thought I was a goner.
How has MBC changed your perspective on life?
Quality over quantity and spending as much time with loved ones to make long lasting memories
What do you want the world to know about living with MBC?
We are literally dying for a cure.
What advice do you have for early-stagers, some who are afraid to learn about MBC?
It’s a reality with breast cancer. A third of people will have it return. You can try to reduce the chances as much as you can but if it’s going to come back, it’s going to come back.
Describe life before MBC in one word? Describe life after MBC in one? Explain your words.
Before MBC – FOMO – I wanted to squeeze every last drop of life as I knew how precious it was
After MBC – Philosophical – I’ve had a good life and while it’s not going to be as long as I hoped, it’s still going to be significant.
