Shellie Henderson shares her experience with breast cancer and its recurrence in less than a year leading to bone metastasis. Throughout her journey, the medical advice and treatments provided went unquestioned, leading her to emphasizes the importance of being involved and proactive in personal medical decisions and how therapy, God, and family have supported her along the way.

Our Baddie x 2 series is an intimate moment in time grasping the interaction between two baddies as they discuss being diagnosed, survivorship, and everything that comes in between. We hope that you enjoy this series and that it sparks a dialogue amongst the breast cancer community.

Interview with breast cancer survivor, Shellie Henderson, as told to Baddie Ambassador, Keneene Lewis

As I walked into this beautifully curated space where the For the Breast of Us (FTBOU) Inaugural We Run This Sneaker Gala was held, I was in awe of all of the beautiful people of color dressed to the nines like a glamorous painting. Young and old, black and brown, dressed in formal attire to honor and celebrate those affected by breast cancer. This gala commemorated the legendary women of color (WOC) in the breast cancer community who demanded that a path be made for those affected by cancer, for those who had melanated skin during times when we were forgotten. This gala was a space for those who are still on their journey; a space to inspire, acknowledge, and provide hope and support.

Attendees were standing around getting to one another before realizing they have interacted countless times on Beyonce’s internet. Whether in the private FTBOU Facebook group or another social media platform, many of us have already had multiple discussions, although it sometimes takes a minute to realize this is the person with a memorable social media handle that you’ve chatted with in the comment section or that you’ve ran into at a conference. 

As I stood in line for one of the signature drinks, I met these two beautiful women. We started chatting about what brought us to the gala and how we were connected to FTBOU. By the time we got our drinks, we were now old friends, united because our breasts tried to take us out. We ended up taking pictures and made plans to connect soon. One of these women was the amazing, Shellie. 

We announced on social media the creation of this series, Baddie x 2: Growth through Conversations, and that it would be featured on the FTBOU platform. It’s where we invite women from the community to join me in honoring the unknown bonds and build sisterhood through compassionate discussion about our lives. Shellie answered the call and stepped up to share her experience. In the 12^th installment of our amazing series, Baddie x 2: Growth through Conversations, I was able to catch up with this amazing Baddie, Shellie Henderson.

Q&A Shellie Henderson

Hey Sis! Thank you for your time and the willingness to share your experience. How did you
hear about For The Breast Of Us (FTBOU)?

I was invited by a pink sister, Kenyatta, to the Sneaker Gala. I was in attendance, and it was an awesome experience. I built a sisterhood from the women that I met at the event.

How has FTBOU supported you?

I have been a part of the FTBOU private group. 

Tell me more about yourself.

March 28^th was my birthday and I turned 49 years old. I am a happily married woman, mother, and Mimi to my 7 year, 4 year and 15 month old grandchildren.

What year were you initially diagnosed?

I was initially diagnosed in October, 2021. I remember that someone posted a reminder to check your tatas so I scheduled an appointment with my OBGYN. I had no family history—I was told that it was an environmental influence.

What was your initial diagnosis?

Stage 1 Invasive Ductal Carcinoma (IDC) ER/PR+ HER2- with no lymph node involvement. I did not have chemotherapy or radiation. I had a bilateral mastectomy. I was put on a hormone blocker. I was cleared in September, 2022 and began taking Tamoxifen. 

What age were you when you were diagnosed?

47 years old.

How did you feel when you were initially diagnosed?

My original first thought was denial. I have no familial history. I thought that the testing was wrong even though I had a biopsy, mammogram, etc. I was literally in denial for days. We have longevity in my family and the thought never occurred that I could be diagnosed with breast cancer.

Did you have a recurrence?

My cancer has returned; I didn’t make it to one year. The article that you wrote on Baddie Ambassador about living OG icon, Terlisa Sheppard, gave me so much hope. It was so inspiring and caused me to get out of bed. If the goal is to live, I got to get out of bed and live. 

I was diagnosed in November, 2022. I advocated to her oncologist that I was having bone pain. They did a doppler ultrasound to see if it was a blood clot. I was told that the X-ray revealed that I had a fractured hip. My insurance covered an MRI and CT scan with and without contrast. They revealed that I did not have any fractures. My insurance required all these tests and they had to be ruled out before they would do the more expensive and intensive tests. After many tests, I finally got a bone scan, it was confirmed that I was having a recurrence where the breast cancer had metastasized to my bones. Specifically, it had metastasized to my T7 vertebrae, 3rd right rib, and femur.

What is something that you would like all of the readers to know?

I want women to know that it is always OK to ask the next question. I was so distraught that I didn’t ask any questions. I trusted my doctor and didn’t ask any questions. I believe that if I had been more involved in my original diagnosis that I may not have had a recurrence? I sometimes wonder that if I didn’t just rely on what they said…would I have asked more questions? 

My first oncologist did not treat me…my test scores did indicate that I would have benefited from chemotherapy and radiation therapy. I feel like if she would have said more…maybe I would have suggested XYZ.

Aromatase inhibitors (AI) were not even mentioned to me until I had a recurrence. I had a full hysterectomy to set myself up to live cancer free. Maybe if given the option for an AI + hormone blocker, my situation would have been different. I wasn’t even introduced to Letrozole & Ibrance. 

I learned that I have the gene for sarcoidosis and the hormone blocker will diminish it.

What are some of the recent procedures that you have had since your recurrence?

I had to have titanium rod put in place of my femur on March 8^th. I had 10 rounds of radiation and more scans revealed that the femur was destroyed. I still have to use a cane/walker when needed.

My old oncologist said that it’s a known fact that when breast cancer spreads, the cancer takes your long bone. Any pain that you are feeling that is not attributed to a fall, should be taken seriously.

What do you do for work?

Regional human resources manager for a law firm.

What is your current treatment plan?

Letrozole and Ibrance. I was just recently informed that it’s not working. 

What is one thing that you wished you were told before treatment?

I just wish that I was given all the facts and possibilities and then given the option to make choices. I feel that my doctor stuck to the textbook standard of care, and treated me as she always does when someone has a breast cancer diagnosis. I was a number to add to the statistics. She never took into consideration, Shellie the person.

What was your biggest self-discovery or revelation after you were diagnosed?

The biggest revelation is you cannot give up. No matter if it is the original diagnosis or a recurrence. Have your moment, but get up and fight! Say to cancer every day, “Thank you for the lesson. I have learned my lesson. You cannot have me. You are no longer welcome here.”

What advice would you give on how to best support a loved one going through breast cancer? 

I would say to give them grace. Because sometimes when I’m having a moment, my caregivers are like, “Shake it off, you’ll be fine.” Some days it’s OK to allow the person to cry, to feel all of the emotions of being scared and the concerns about the unknown. They have to experience the emotions because they are real and valid.

Have you faced any treatment obstacles during your breast cancer treatment process?

Yes. After my bilateral mastectomy, I was in severe pain. After a few calls of advocating for myself, they finally gave me Gabapentin for nerve pain and Norco (hydrocodone) for the pain. I still wonder why these medicines weren’t given to me from the beginning. Why weren’t they being proactive? I wonder would my white sister have had this same experience.

What physical changes happened since being diagnosed with breast cancer?

The dreaded weight gain. The thinning of my hair.

Meta-thrivership, what does that mean to you?

To keep going. This is not the beginning or the ending of my story. This is simply a chapter. I made it to 47 before anything happened to me. I am still here. I have had some really good days. It doesn’t control my days even though it’s always at the back of my mind. My husband still looks at me with all of the love and adoration. He still dates me. He’s been with me through it all. He’s remained true to how he’s always been to me.

How do you deal with insensitive comments?

The older generation of my family have told me that I am putting too much of my business out there. People are judging you. 

Has your anxiety increased/decreased since being diagnosed?

It’s increased, but I do believe it comes in spurts. God has the final say. But there are days where it is not a good day. I rely on self-care, therapy, sitting outside, etc. 

What does your mental healthcare look like?

Therapist. They help you get through those hard days. We don’t talk about planning for the end stage of life, especially in the black and brown community. We need to have those conversations even when it’s hard to think about. It’s important.

What is one fun activity that you did for yourself during treatment?

Acupuncture and massage therapy in January and February. I just stopped having them right before surgery. It is something that I am considering restarting especially since it is only $50 at my cancer center. 

What do you have to repeatedly give yourself grace for since your diagnosis?

We as WOC must survive/thrive on many different levels, sometimes to the point where we can’t slip up. How tired are you from just thriving?

I am definitely tired. We are a two-family income, and I didn’t miss much work over the seven surgeries. I am logged on and back at work. I cannot stop because we had a two-family lifestyle and cancer was never in the plan.

What would you like the breast cancer community to do for more WOC?

More awareness and education that this disease does actually happen to us. I am encouraging all of my friends to get their exams. I think that’s what it’s all about. We must show support in the black and brown community to go get your exams, go to a free clinic, mobile mammograms, etc. Make sure that you do it. We must educate ourselves because racism and biases are real. Also, we are women, be sensitive and gentle with us.

Then there’s the unconscious bias. Don’t deny me the ability to form an educated decision by not providing me with all of the facts; like not going step by step with this pathology because you don’t think I have the mental capacity to absorb it.

And to be aware that our Baddie sisters may be dealing with other issues, the place that they are going through because of their diagnosis. Be mindful, aware, and sensitive.

How has your spirituality influenced your breast cancer experience?

God made me move by making sure the pain was prominent enough for me to get upset and advocate for myself. I still stand strong in my favorite scripture before the diagnosis, Mark 5:34: “God responded daughter, you are healed. You may go in peace healed of this disease.” I hang my hat on that God had this written for his daughter.

I want to continue to give hope and lift others like my pink sisters, Christina and Kenyatta, did for me. They were both there for me within a day. We met through a FB social media group, and they have been there for me since. They were further along in the journey, so they were like big sisters in this experience.

Mentally, what do you do on those hard days to push through?

Sit outside, soaking up that sun/vitamin D, and talk to God while watching the grand babies.

Have you made lifestyle changes that seem to work for you?

Working every day. Taking care of the grand-kids. Going on date nights with my husband. 

Tell me about your support system?

My husband. He has been here with me through it all. My mother. She makes sure that I eat or that brush my hair so that I’m appropriate for work and appointments. My siblings. They live in LA, but they trickle in and out. My Baddie sisters. They live within 10 minutes of me. My job understands. They say, “Take off or cancel your calendar for the day” or “Shoot me a message through Teams, then you go off and take care of you.” I am thankful that I have a black woman boss. I am loved and supported all the way around and I thank God for that.

What parts of old YOU are still a part of YOU today?

Personality. I’m still the go-getter that I was before. I’m still gonna walk into a room, command attention, and become friends.

What are your favorite parts about the new YOU that old YOU didn’t have?

I’m learning how to say no. I’m putting restraints on my time. Turning my phone off and having a woosah moment if necessary. Truly being present. It’s OK to re-schedule and do self-care. Drive back home with the phone still off.

What are three things that you would tell someone who was just told that they have metastatic breast cancer (MBC)?

Breathe. Stay off of Google. Pray. You can do it longer. Spend time with God who can heal your heart and spirit.

How do you want to make your mark in the breast cancer community? What are you still hoping to accomplish?

Be connected to an organization where I can be an advocate, sound board, and tell another sista’ that I have walked this road and I am here for you. There are moments where I needed to scream, vent, talk to, especially in those first few weeks. It’s important to be able to reach out to someone. I was anxious, nervous, and I didn’t know what to expect. 

If you were to write a blog about yourself tomorrow, what would the title be?

That I am who I am.

What was your theme song during your treatment?

“I Didn’t Know My Own Strength” by Whitney Houston and “God Knows My Name” by Tasha Cobb.

What is something that you want to tell the lawmakers/change makers?

Time for a cure. We have to quit letting pharmaceuticals, insurance companies, and doctors who get rebates determine everything. Our families deserve a cure. We all deserve a cure. It’s time for a cure. They are still looking at this as a business and making money off of people affected by, living with, and dying from breast cancer.

What is happening with all of these clinical trials? Why aren’t these drugs being put out here to help others? If you are lucky enough to even know of a clinical trial as a WOC…everyone should hear about clinical trials. You will hear about a trial and then you don’t hear anything else about it.

What is one thing that you would want the world to know about you that doesn’t have anything to do with breast cancer?

I was a whole person. I still am, despite this diagnosis.

What question would you ask someone if you were conducting the interview?

What do you need from me at this moment? 

How can our readers connect with you?

FB: @shelliehenderson

Baddie private group

Shellie continued to drop words on words! I know that her gems will speak to another person’s heart. Whether they can relate to it personally or if it inspires them to move. While speaking to Shellie, I loved hearing all of the life that was happening in her home. She was surrounded by light, love, and the lives of her loved ones. The grand-babies would occasionally come up to her to say something while we were having this conversation and you could hear the smile on her face as she spoke to them. 

Shellie, speaking with you did so much for me. On that particular day, it was a hard one for me emotionally. You helped to lift me, encourage me, and push me to GO in my own life. To quote the inspirational speaker, Iyanla Vanzant, “How you show up here is how you show up everywhere.” I sincerely believe that you are a joy to all that you interact with in all facets of your life. Continue to lean on His word, your family, and your breast cancer sistas’ to help lift you on those days when the thoughts become too much. I pray that you are doing the self-care that you mentioned to help since you were feeling better. MBC has no idea who they are up against with you! Thank you for the opportunity to share a piece of your journey. Continue to rise, Shellie!