Diagnosed with breast cancer at age 44, Ruthy shares her experience including the importance of finding a tribe, a need for more dialogue in relation to fertility options during treatment, and the importance of speaking up and spreading awareness, particularly in West Indian/Caribbean communities.

Our Baddie x 2 series is an intimate moment in time grasping the interaction between two baddies as they discuss being diagnosed, survivorship, and everything that comes in between. We hope that you enjoy this series and that it sparks a dialogue amongst the breast cancer community.

Interview with breast cancer survivor, Ruthy Prophete, as told to Baddie Ambassador, Keneene Lewis

For The Breast Of Us (FTBOU) hosted March Baddie Meetups which consisted of multiple meetups in various cities (and virtually) on the same day throughout the United States. Baddie Ambassadors (BAs) in their respective cities, convened at various locales to interact with Baddies in their area. Some traveled distances to the nearest city in order to be a part of this momentous occasion. Some cities met at restaurants while others were held at a karaoke bar.

Ruthy and I met at Insight Virtual Ballistics, an ultimate virtual shooting experience at the Atlanta, GA meetup.  She was one of a group of women who showed up to connect with other women of color. We discussed our breast cancer experiences to date and the reasons they decided to attend the event. Ruthy and I connected right away. We discussed this serie—which I had recently began—and I asked if she would be interested in having a conversation.

In the tenth installment of our amazing series, Baddie x 2: Growth through Conversations, I was able to catch up with the amazing Baddie Ambassador, Ruthy Prophete.

Q&A Ruthy Prophete

Hey Sis! Thank you for your time and the willingness to share your experience. How did you
hear about For The Breast Of Us (FTBOU)?

Shortly after being diagnosed, (when they say don’t go online), I found FTBOU on Twitter and then IG. Twitter allowed me to be anonymous at the time. It was a source to get information and get connected with like-minded people.

How has FTBOU supported you? What is your favorite memory with FTBOU?

This was my first support. I was a silent follower/liker/retweeting/QOTD on Twitter or IG. Through social media, I was able to see people that looked like me in different parts of their journey living their lives. 

The Naked Truth (TNT) campaign struck me—I saw all of the women and their bravery, depicted in the posts. At that time, I had a month to decide what I would do in regard to which surgery route to take. Looking at the images helped me to decide which path I would take. I needed to see women of color in that space. 

My first in person connection was the meet up where we met.

What is your favorite part about being a FTBOU Baddie?

My favorite part of being a Baddie is that we are thriving and surviving. We are not in a corner, broken down, etc. I am still here and did not ignore my lump. I had no pain or discomfort. I could have just seen it as an ordinary bump, but I am grateful that I am thriving. Maintaining in my survivorship and all that comes with it. I am grateful to be here and to help someone else.

What year were you initially diagnosed?

July, 2021

What was your initial diagnosis?

I was diagnosed with Stage 2 Invasive Ductal Carcinoma (IDC). My chart says that there was a high incidence of hormones, but no one told me that it was ER/PR+ All of the testing came back as negative. I was told that it was environmental. I chose to have a lumpectomy. I was told Stage 1 before surgery, then it was confirmed to be Stage 2 after surgery. Since my esophagus was affected, I was advised through treatment to increase my calories due to mucositis. I sipped Chik-fil-A shakes, soups—things that soothed—through a straw because it was so painful.

What age were you when you were diagnosed?

I was diagnosed at 44 years old. I didn’t fit in with the young adult community nor the older group. Those that I connected with were diagnosed so many years ago…they couldn’t relate to the symptoms or treatment that I was having.

How did you feel when you were initially diagnosed?

Absolutely devastated. My first reaction was disbelief, anger, and then I thought about my mortality…I felt weak in the knees…that’s when my anxiety increased. I got the call on a Friday afternoon on July 16^th at 1:30 PM

What is a typical day like for you now?

Work was my escape. You can do this remotely. I got a new job after treatment ended. I was going into the office. You noticed the changes—no heels, changing shoes when meeting with people or going into meetings. I have more remote days now.

What is your current treatment plan?

Tamoxifen for five years—may extend it to ten years. I started in September. I learned that I have arthrosis and bursitis, I was recently told that it is a side effect of radiation.

What is one thing that you wished you were told before treatment?

I was told the truth about everything prior to surgery…like cording. They warned me about that part and the necessary exercises. I still had all of the sensitivity. 

They told me on the red devil that I would lose my hair during chemotherapy. I accepted this was going to happen and I was not immune.

Were all of your fertility options discussed? Is there information that you wished was shared?

I wish that I had had more information about preserving my fertility. I initially had a male oncologist and I saw him up until I had surgery. We discussed the subject lightly of preserving my eggs and the whole fight…this meant I would need to push the chemo back. I had to bring up the conversation, but timing was in my face.

He was the one who put the chemo schedule in place for me. Then I got a letter that he was leaving the practice. I switched to a woman doctor who’s parent also had cancer. She is more sensitive and aware.

I am sad and grieving the loss of opportunity to have my kids. It is something that I grieve daily.

What is one fun activity that you did for yourself during treatment?

Going on walks and exploring. It made me feel like myself again. I was diagnosed during the pandemic and once we were vaccinated, my friends and I started exploring. Westside park, I would go there and walk when I felt good enough to do it. I was told not to eat my favorite foods, but I would treat myself to ice cream. Soft serve ice cream, Haagen Daas specialty ice cream like Baileys Irish cream.

What was your biggest self-discovery or revelation after you were diagnosed?

I am a fighter. I didn’t give up when I could have given up. I was prepared to fight and save myself. 

I also realized how much I am cared for. My friends really rallied around me. I was at my parents’ house and one of my friends came over to their home with some gummies because I had so much anxiety and insomnia before a treatment session. They sent me flowers, came to visit, did drive by visits. The level of support that I had was amazing. I felt the love and the prayers. 

Several pastors and prayer groups were there for me. My family was supportive. Also my college friends who live here were all there for me. Then there was Caringbridge.com, a site for people who have illnesses, it’s where you can journal and then share it with who you want to share it with but it was overwhelming for me so I stopped.

What was the most difficult part of your journey and how did you overcome it?

The side effects. They are still with me post treatment. I typically use meditation, and my faith and prayer so I don’t go into the rabbit hole of what they are doing to my life. I know the power of words. I have tools in place to distract myself. I have learned to give people grace. You cannot expect you (your ways, behaviors, etc.) to be found in other people. I have to keep reminding myself of this.

What advice would you give on how to best support a loved one going through breast cancer?

Check on them and have grace. Support them in the way that you choose to support. The support is great but don’t expect an immediate response back. We don’t have the capacity to be on the phone to catch people up. They may not respond when you send it, it can be overwhelming but be patient.

Did you face treatment obstacles during your breast cancer treatment process?

There were miscommunications and the care team was not consistent. They did not prepare me for my port placement. They told me it was easy-peasy. For example: I met a nurse navigator that was a survivor. She said she would be with me on my journey and then I never saw her again. When I was diagnosed, I met a bunch of people that I never saw again.

What physical changes happened after being diagnosed with breast cancer?

Neuropathy, lymphedema, bloated, constant need to go to the bathroom and insomnia

Did you lose your hair? How did you manage this?

It made the diagnosis real by me losing my hair, eyebrows, and eye lashes. I definitely missed my hair and standing appointments. The challenge is now navigating natural hair. As a black woman, I was sad, but I had to accept that this was the price to save my life. I grieve my old hair, but I am embracing my natural look and my curls. Now it is long enough to do a twist out and I am learning. 

Survivorship/Thrivorship, what does that mean to you?

I am still learning what is working for me. I am a survivor that is thriving. I have been using the hashtag #teamsurvivor, it’s my way to connect and reaffirm. I think that I am surviving and thriving. Everyone understands what a survivor means and I think that it is an interesting dynamic. Their initial reaction is God bless you.

What advice would you give to someone trying to navigate survivorship?

Give yourself grace. Remember that you went through something awful and terrible. You cannot expect to be the same person. Your level of tolerance is different.

We as WOC must survive/thrive on many different levels, sometimes to the point where we can’t slip up. How tired are you from just thriving?

It was hard to find my people/community…I am an empath. As black women, its important to find a support system for us, then to share that with HCPs so that they can tell others. It’s about being aware, reaching out to those who are not on social media or online. As ambassadors, it would be nice to partner with HCPs and cancer centers. We have to get the information to the people.

What would you like the breast cancer community to do for more WOC?

It’s mportant that we share our stories. Traditionally, it is taboo to share what is going on or what we went through. We must talk about it.

What complementary therapies have you tried?

Acupuncture for neuropathy in my hands and feet. But since it wasn’t covered by insurance, the billing was jacked up. It was once a week with a Latino-Christian, sweet person but the billing issues would have to change for me to return.

Tell me about your support system?

Mom, dad and brother. They were my primary caregivers. I stayed with them throughout my treatment. My parents are both Haitian.

What effect did breast cancer have on your dating life?

I do not have time to waste with someone who is not showing up in my life how I need him to. I didn’t tell him when I was diagnosed. I knew that we weren’t officially together, so I kept it to myself. 

What parts of old YOU are still a part of YOU today?

I am still a loyal friend. I believe in my friendships and my tribe.

My perseverance and will to keep living/fighting. Sometimes, you don’t know it until you go through something. I can bounce back. My spirit is still there and has not been affected by cancer. My faith has not wavered, and I believe in healing.

What are your favorite parts about the new YOU that old YOU didn’t have?

My ability to say no. I was working on that before treatment–-when I got into my 40’s. This diagnosis along with COVID forced me and showed me to drop all of those things and take care of me.

Old Ruthy worried about other people first. I should have put myself first. Unapologetically putting myself first and owning that space. I was involved in a lot of organizations, volunteering my time…but It is OK to put yourself first. It is OK to back out of things and not feel bad about it. .

What are three things you would tell someone who was just told that they have breast cancer?

It is not a death sentence; it may feel like it. Don’t feel guilty with who you tell or share it with. It is up to you. You own that process and tell your support system how you would like that to go. Accept the support especially if you shared the news. Be prepared that everyone is not ready to step up, you may lose friends.

Why do you feel it is important for us to reach out to your culture? 

Awareness. We all know someone who has been affected by cancer. No matter how close they are to you, you know someone who has or had cancer.

If you were to write a blog about yourself tomorrow, what would the title be?

Faith Over Fear

What was your theme song during your treatment?

“Lights, Camera, Action” by Freaky Tah (the remix version) and “Goodness of God” by CeCe Winans

What is something that you want to tell the lawmakers/change makers?

Do not deny treatment once the diagnosis has been confirmed. No denial of medication, treatment, care, etc.

How can our readers connect with you?

IG: @lil_ruthyp

Twitter: @digitalchic

I was very thankful that this entire interaction stemmed from a meetup that led to a conversation between two strangers. Prior to us speaking, Ruthy was running a 5K for women. Unfortunately, she got hurt as she was trying to regain some semblance of her old self. I was thankful that she still wanted to take the call and share her story. I was thankful that she trusted me to share a portion of her story. Thankful that we built the starts of a friendship throughout the call. Ruthy is an inspiration. Her faith, determination, kindness, and her sense of humor inspired me to continue to ask more questions to learn more about her. I believe that her story will resonate with many for the good parts and the parts that were decided because of this horrible disease. Ruthy, thank you again for the honor of sharing pieces of your journey. I cannot wait to see what Ruthy 2.0 does in this city, in this breast cancer community, and the world. You will be out there running through nature and exploring the various trails around Atlanta.