Andrea decided to take advantage of a free genetic testing opportunity for minorities and discovered she had the BRCA2 mutation gene. This information prompted her and her PCP to initiate 3D mammograms despite Andrea only being 38 years old. Her third mammogram revealed she had breast cancer. Read on to learn how Andrea dealt with her diagnosis during the COVID lock down and after.

Our Baddie x 2 series is an intimate moment in time grasping the interaction between two baddies as they discuss being diagnosed, survivorship, and everything that comes in between. We hope that you enjoy this series and that it sparks a dialogue amongst the breast cancer community.

Interview with breast cancer survivor, Andrea Alvarez, as told to Baddie Ambassador, Keneene Lewis

This year, For The Breast Of Us (FTBOU) began hosting multi-city meetups simultaneously around the country and virtually. Each survivor and thriver in the community could meet one another, fellowship, do a fun activity, and get resources. This is something that the Baddies have been successful at doing. FTBOU recognizes a need in the community, comes up with a solution, and executes successfully in typical Baddie fashion!

After the COVID-19 pandemic, many were hesitant to connect in person for various reasons; they were immunocompromised due to an illness, didn’t want to risk getting COVID. The world was—and still is very different. However, the community was left with an open wound due to the pandemic causing everyone to isolate or remain in their bubble. Everyone immediately stopped meeting in-person and went virtual. Zoom meetups became the norm and some have not returned to in-person events for various reasons

FTBOU decided to invite women of color (WOC) to meet up in many cities and participate in an activity such as paint make lipsticks, shoot guns at a virtual gun range, or break bread at a restaurant one time throughout the quarter. My Baddie Sis, Tan and I were asked to host the June 17th meetup at a local studio to paint mugs. For many of the Atlanta Baddies, this was their first time attending an in-person event in a very long time or ever.

Andrea was one of the Baddies who came out and connected with other women to establish connections. I invited the women to connect with me for an opportunity to share their story and she accepted.

In the 15th installment of our amazing series, Baddie x 2: Growth through Conversations, I was
able to catch up with this amazing Baddie, Andrea Alvarez.

Q&A Andrea Alvarez

Hey Sis! Thank you for your time and the willingness to share your experience. How did you
hear about For The Breast Of Us (FTBOU)?

I was on social media trying to find ways to connect with other breast cancer survivors. I followed a couple different groups which in turn directed me to FTBOU.

How has FTBOU supported you?

The Paint and Sip Meetup was my first in-person breast cancer activity. Also, the social media posts, topics, and stories have been helpful.

What is your favorite part about being a Baddie?

My favorite part is the actual community itself. The individuals that I have met during the healing/recovery part of the process, I have met some super DOPE people. The community is definitely the best part.

Being diagnosed during COVID, everything was shut down and I had no way to truly connect. It was very isolating, and I had to go through so much by myself. After my active treatment, that was when I could finally connect with other people.

When were you initially diagnosed?

November, 2020

What was your initial diagnosis?

Stage 1 Invasive Ductal Carcinoma (IDC) Triple Negative breast cancer (TNBC).

What age were you when you were diagnosed?

38 years old.

How did your breast cancer journey begin?

My story begins in 2016, watching a story about access to genetic testing for minorities. It caught my attention because I grew up without my father in life. I did not meet him until my 20s. I was always only able to give half of my health history. Morehouse was offering free genetic testing to minorities. I felt that I didn’t have a reason to worry about cancer from my mom’s side.

So, I took advantage of the opportunity. I got a call that I had the BRCA2 mutation gene. I had a lot going in my life (single parent, recently moved, daughter was going into high school, etc.). So, when she told me to take it seriously and suggested that I have a double mastectomy, I thought that it was crazy that she was telling me to remove my breast tissue off of a probability. I told her that I would notify my sisters. I was like thank you for the information and moved on with my life.

I mentioned it to my primary care physician (PCP) months later during my annual visit. I mentioned it to her and told her to add it to my records. She asked if I was gonna do the proactive double mastectomy. I was like no, we are good, and not gonna speak that into existence. She suggested that we start doing 3D mammograms at that age. It was my 3rd mammogram when breast cancer popped up.

How did you feel when you were initially diagnosed?

I was in complete disbelief. I had kind of an inkling that it was gonna come back positive. During my biopsy, the doctor said something. It was also the week of the Presidential election (Biden vs Trump), it was a high stress time for me, the world. I remember that week very vividly: Monday was the biopsy, Tuesday was the election date, Friday is when I got my results.

After I was diagnosed, I spoke with my paternal aunt who I had some contact with, she shared that my grandma and three of my aunts all had breast cancer, a cousin had colon cancer, and she had had pancreatic cancer. I was angry that all of a sudden it was hitting close to home. This was very close and deep on this side of the family. I was upset with myself for not being proactive because maybe I could have prevented myself from having to go through chemotherapy. It was an internal struggle—why didn’t I? Shoulda, coulda, woulda—you know?

I am now able to put those thoughts and feelings in a proper place of where they need to
be.

How do you passionate about your breast cancer journey?

I am now really passionate about sharing this part of my journey. I stress to those who have no family history, the young, the relatively healthy, the ones who may not know their family history. Especially black people—we don’t have those conversations and talk about it in ways that you are cognizant of things. Had I not been getting those mammograms, where would I be?

How do you handle insensitive comments and unsolicited advice?

At times, it is concerning just how everyone has comments/thoughts about why/how you got cancer. What did you eat? Which environment were you in? What did you do to cause it? etc. I felt so judged and didn’t want to eat anything in front of anyone. I was scared to eat.

Also, the unsolicited advice is the worst; strangers who share that their aunt died from breast cancer, family suggesting that I go to the jungles of Costa Rica to do a raw food diet and bringing a feng shui expert to my house, etc. I know that she meant well…. 

It is the audacity for me, but it is so difficult when it comes from people who you love. I literally had to tell my family to stop otherwise you will not be a part of my caregiver team. You are stressing me out on top of the decisions that I had to make (surgery, active treatment, etc.). It was so weird to be in that space and have loved ones bring all of this to me on top of this journey. 

My family and friends feel that they have to say something in that moment as a way to comfort and connect. So, then you become responsible for making them feel better for what you have to go through. It is an added burden and made me feel more isolated. It was a lot of noise. I have been a people pleaser all of my life. I am trying to absorb articles, YouTube videos, etc. I just had to pull back so that I could make the best decision for myself. I did not want to look back regretfully—this is my life. I was really surprised at how people took so much liberty to tell me what to do once hearing that news. I was never a sickly person.

Social media, was that a positive and/or negative after your diagnosis?

Social media made me very hyper-aware that I needed to seek therapy once I was finished with active treatment. It is the biggest mind-fuck when you are finished. I was seeing all of these posts. I had my lists and treatment plan. I was working through the program and doing what I needed to do to survive. I was never dealing with the emotional stuff: 

I have/had cancer. 

I had my breast tissue removed and the absence that I felt after it was removed.

What did I just go through? What did I just lose?

I lost my ability to walk without being uncomfortable, etc. 

I cannot connect with my friends, I am bald, nails are all fucked up, and I was working but I was grieving it all. I immediately knew that I was not gonna stay in this space. Find a therapist now. Work to rebuild and reconnect. I had to make the shift and stop mourning the life that I had. This actually opened my eyes wider—I appreciate things more. I have a new opportunity. It will never be what it was and shouldn’t be. This Andrea at 41 is way more cognizant, present, more patient, etc. Everything has flipped. I did the work and took the necessary baby steps. I hate it when individuals don’t take the opportunity to take back their empowerment.

How do you feel about sharing your story?

Having the opportunity to tell my story is therapeutic. It heals a little piece of me every time that I tell my story. I know that there is someone like me, sitting on their phone scrolling, and all of a sudden, they see this story and it resonates with them.  Having that connection with another person is so helpful. That is my hope, ultimately. My story may be the push to help them decide one way or another.

What is your current treatment plan?

Monitoring. I see my oncologist every four months and gynecologist every six months. They have been very pushy about me removing my ovaries. It has been a source of contention between my doctors and me. I had to have this conversation three times with them. I had to explain to them meeting your patient where they are, and I am just adjusting to living this new life. I understand the risks, but I am not going to consider touching them until 45. In December, did allow them to remove my fallopian tubes as an alternative to reduce the risks. Aside from that, I don’t have to do anything and I feel pretty blessed. 

Advocating seems to be a major portion of your breast cancer journey. What does it mean to use your voice to advocate for yourself?

After surgery, I cancelled all of my appointments and waited a month before going back in to speak to my oncologist. I feel that she was being too aggressive while I was trying to figure out the new norm, process it all, and heal.

After that, she took the time to sit with me and truly heard me. I showed vulnerability and she took a step back to explain where she was coming from and why she was pushing me to get this care. We had a human conversation versus a doctor and patient one.

What is one thing that you wished you were told before active treatment?

I wished that everyone would have an opinion regarding their care. At the end of the day, what is most important is what feels right and works for you.

What is one fun activity that you did for yourself during active treatment?

I smoked a lot of weed. Prior to my diagnosis, I was making edibles for those who needed them for medicinal usage. Ironically, I ended up needing it. I made myself gummies.

For the first time in my adult life, I didn’t have to work. It was kind of nice to just be at home. I was constantly on the go and of course COVID had changed that. I was blessed and fortunate to have PTO and short-term disability. Financially, a lot of things did not shift. I wasn’t beating myself up. I did work through my chemotherapy and my job was super supportive. I work from home (WFH), and they were exactly what I needed in that time or space with no questions asked. It was a tangible value. 

I know that doesn’t happen to everyone and I am really grateful for all of the support all the way around—family, friends, employer, etc. I wish more people would have access to that while going through this disease.

What was your biggest self-discovery or revelation after you were diagnosed?

I think ultimately prior to my diagnosis, I spent a lot of time just going after the next thing and not being fully present in my life. I never took the time to just slow down and just be. I was always working, going to school, caring for my daughter, etc. This is the first time in my life that had so many unknowns that I couldn’t make any plans or forecast the future. After my treatment, I did not make one goal or agenda for a year. If an opportunity came, I made a choice right then and there. Prior to that I would have said no. 

I went to Bali for three weeks. Although, I am starting to get back into that space where I want to create some goals, I can say that I took the time. The open space left room for opportunities that you never thought of or could imagine for yourself. I enjoy my weekends at home with snacks, movies, and not doing anything. I will say no or change plans in a heartbeat. Plus, outside in Atlanta is a weird flex. People are out of their minds.

What was the most difficult part of your journey? How did you overcome it?

The physical changes. I just remember how uncomfortable I felt, how much pain I was in, all the side effects from chemotherapy; it all of this was really hard for me to deal with and took some time. 

A couple of things that helped me a lot, but no health care professionals mentioned it was: physical therapy, yoga, and breathwork. These things helped me to get more comfortable with my body. After the DIEP flap, it was very tight and could not get comfortable. Yoga allowed me to move my body and do intentional breathing. In breathwork, I learned how we store trauma in our cells and body. The first time, I cried through the whole session. That intentional controlled breathing released all of the pain, trauma, etc. Physical therapy helped me learn about my body and helped me to connect with my body because I felt so disconnected. Everything was numb, nipples were gone, etc. The physical therapist made sense of so much. I was really struggling after my surgery. I couldn’t stand up fully and I learned via social media that there were physical therapists that could help with this. I thought that it was just me vs knowing that there were specialists out here. My insurance did not cover a physical therapist for DIEP flap. I found the Painted Pink organization, applied for a scholarship, and the scholarship paid for the physical therapist who would come to my home. She encouraged me to do the homework and helped me to see my body. 

I have lymphedema in my breast and saw a physical therapist who helped with it.

Did you lose your hair? How did you manage this?

I had long relaxed hair prior to my diagnosis. Prior to having my surgery in December, I cut my hair into a bob. Then I started chemotherapy. By the second treatment, it was shedding everywhere and all of the time. It was very traumatic. I was trying to hold on to it and I was gonna be the lucky one to keep my hair. My edges and front started to get thin.

I had my friend hook me up with his barber and cut my hair into a little afro. I cried the whole time due to childhood trauma; my Mom cut my hair because I wasn’t taking care of it. Through chemotherapy, it got thinner and thinner. 

I went to another barber, and he cut it into a fade. He put that Bigen all over my hair instead of saying that I should cut this all off. Bigen (pronounced ‘Beijing’) is a permanent, inky black dye that can be brushed onto the scalp and skillfully manipulated to create ‘Bigen Blackout’ covering signs of hair loss. I immediately got in the shower. It began to come down my face and drain. I was crying. My friend came over to the house that night and cut it off. My neighbor shaved my head for me. 

Trying to hold onto it caused more anxiety and was very devastating for me. I wrote a whole post about it on my social media. It was an adjustment being bald, but I looked cute.

Now being natural, I could not negate something returning and being cognizant about lotions, deodorant, put in my hair, etc. I am more aware but not a health nut. In my 40s, I was like I was going to learn to take care of my natural hair. My daughter really helped me with products and styles. I am adjusting to this natural hair. It takes a part of me to relinquish the control and allow the curls to go where they go. This year, it has gotten long enough to wear braids. It is pricey out here but when I catch a special with my braider, I jump on it. Me and my natural hair are getting to know one another. I am thankful that my hair came back. Now, I balance my needs vs my wants. 

Survivorship/Thrivorship, what does that mean to you?

At this stage, I am a thriver. To me that means that I came through a very bad situation and just trying to make the most out of everything moving forward. In this space of healing, I have become a better person out of what I went through. I would say in this moment, I am absolutely thriving.

What advice would you give to someone trying to navigate survivorship?

Therapy, finding your tribe, be inquisitive, learn. Be in the space to learn, and be a student in whatever aspect that may mean to you.

Have you truly accepted your new normal?

Yes. Because I choose to thrive in this space instead of allowing it to hold me back.

Has your anxiety increased/decreased since being diagnosed?

I feel like it has the potential to increase but I work really hard on not allowing it to take over. Which means that I have to be very intentional with my thoughts. If I feel myself going to a space or rabbit hole if this happens again (how would I handle it). A big part of my self-care is to not have those thoughts or jump down that rabbit hole that it could happen, or someone can hit my car tomorrow. I am intentional with not sitting in the space of the unknown.

What does your mental healthcare look like?

Ton of self-care. Sleeping in. Eating healthy, but also indulging when I feel like I need it. Traveling has been huge. Talking; good, bad, angry, sad, find a space and get it out. 

I had to say NO and really mean it, set boundaries, and find my voice especially with people that I care about. I will remove myself from a situation, people, etc.

What do you have to repeatedly give yourself grace for since your diagnosis?

Everything. All of the mistakes in my life from age one to 38 years old. Everything that I did or said wrong. Be present and not live in the past. All of the shit I was holding on to, I had to let go, release, and move forward.

We as WOC have to survive/thrive on many different levels, sometimes to the point where we can’t slip up. How tired/not tired are you from just thriving?

A little bit of both, tired and not tired. I am sure that I have reincarnated in my spaces. Being a black woman—I love black women and what we represent!! Our ability to be vulnerable is not present in a lot of situations. I think if we had more available spaces to be vulnerable instead of trying to carry the weight of the world/culture/children can be a lot. Black women are the pulse. We are everything. It can be exhausting. I think that it is one thing that contributes to us having these diseases like cancer. The mind, the body, we tend to internalize a lot of things. Where does it go? We are not allowed to be any type of emotion and it is not fair. I wish that we had more outlets to be comfortable and supported.

What would you like the breast cancer community to do for more WOC?

The breast cancer community should give more information and put it out there. I was very surprised to learn how many young black women are affected by cancer. Despite working in the medical field, I do not feel that it is talked about enough, nor portrayed in the media, and the stories are not shared. You have to be in it to get the full picture of what it looks like. This also falls into the rabbit hole of disparities, health care, etc. 

My biggest thing is advocating for yourself. You do not have to be treated step by step at the “standard of care.” That standard of care does not look like us and we have to know this. If the doctor says something or does something that we don’t agree with, we have to understand that you have every right to walk out and find someone who does see you, hear you, etc. They don’t know or have the guidance to reject what they are receiving.

Sometimes that pressure, no matter how educated one is, may still wear you down when you are not on a solid footing. They were making me question my thoughts and what I know. So, I do understand why some people choose to blindly listen to what they say.

Have you made lifestyle changes that seem to work for you?

I balance my needs vs my wants. Especially for food—hamburger once a month, chicken. I drink a lot of fucking water. Lots of veggies and fruit. I read the labels. I want to be about quality not quantity. I will have a hamburger or steak every once in a while. It is all about balance and moderation.

Tell me about your support system?

Mom. She didn’t agree with all of my decisions on treatment. Despite that, she was able to be there for me once we had a conversation (my life, my choices), she fell into place. She was knocking at my door, came every day, made me get out of bed, walk up and down the street, brought food, incorporated holistic (essential oils) when I was open and trying to find a new normal. I realized that she was my biggest asset. She told me to look at the ingredients. She re-taught me how to look into food, natural things, supplements, etc. to be healthy. After surgery, I never had an infection, had a revision, etc. She emptied my four drains. After chemotherapy and those two subsequent days, I was good. I attribute all of that to my mom. She was here and remained present for me. In my adult life, I needed that from her. She was important in my healing.

Aunt. She cooked and prepped meals. She would put them in the fridge.

My friends. My birthday fell during my active treatment. They had a cake and balloons for me. My mom and daughter saw that I needed my friends. No one had ever done that for me. I am always that person. This time it was given to me, and it was so humbling.

What effect did breast cancer have on your marriage/dating?

I pushed myself to get back out there dating in Atlanta. It is a very fine line to date in Atlanta after breast cancer. I felt that I needed to explain why I had a head wrap on. I had to learn that everyone is not privy to your story. 

A guy came back into my life after 15 years while I was going through chemotherapy. I wasn’t even thinking about dating and was simply focused on cancer. I call him “a bull in a fine china shop.” Everyone else was treating me so gently and he was like let’s go get drinks. He was treating me very normal. We picked back up like we were five years ago. He was like let me be there for you. He was fighting so hard to be in my life. I hadn’t been touched or anything. It was refreshing because he reminded me to be exactly who the fuck I was! He helped me snap back. It was surreal. He was really there for me during the most vulnerable time out of my treatment. 

We were making plans for how life would be after chemotherapy. Then my cat died, my daughter was in the hospital—life was lifeing. We were in our bubble. Two weeks after my last chemotherapy treatment, he completely ghosted me. It was so weird. I was devastated and it scared me. It hurt me and I was so vulnerable. We had history. I was invested and thought that we had an understanding. I hold a space of gratitude for him for who he was in that moment of time. He helped me to get back to Andrea Alvarez.

I have dated and been on dates. I haven’t found someone worth my time. I have a new level of confidence. If they aren’t coming correctly, I am not trying to get into a space with someone. I am in a space where I would love to be in love and be with someone. I have so much to offer in all aspects of my life and I would like someone to come to the table with the same equivalent as me. My standards are higher. I am taking pressure off of myself of feeling the need to prove that I am worthy. I am way more comfortable with this is where I am, take it or leave it!

What parts of old YOU are still a part of YOU today?

Drive to help others. On top of my healthcare and what I need to do. Sarcastic. My level of humor and sarcasm was helpful during my treatment in the appropriate spaces.

What are your favorite parts about the new YOU that old YOU didn’t have?

More mindful. A childlike spirit. Getting back to the basics of living life. I am woke. The rose-colored glasses are off. Everything seems clearer, crisper, and real.

What is your why?

Because I am here for a reason. I don’t know why but I am here. I genuinely believe that the circumstances and coincidences that have happened lead me to where I am today. Everything has a divine meaning for it to happen how it did. The genetic testing, early mammograms, and I just got to the age when you are supposed to have a mammogram. I was diagnosed three years ago.

What is a typical day like for you now?

A typical day: work, squeeze in a moment of happiness for myself, eating well and sleeping.

I used to work in health care, so I could navigate, get second opinions, bring up questions/concerns, etc. Now, I am a social worker. I am looking for resources, showing people how to get help, and advocate.

How do you advocate? How do you want to make your mark in the breast cancer community? What are you still hoping to accomplish?

Advocating is something that fires me up as a social worker. There is so many things that I want to do based off of my experience as a black woman affected by breast cancer. My recovery is my priority. I am still healing myself. I do not want to prematurely jump into a space without resolving my own stuff. My cup must be filled, and wounds must heal so I can feel comfortable. I am excited to see what comes with my advocacy. 

Last year, I was invited to a breast cancer retreat in CA. I was on the fence, but I still went. In the spirit of saying yes to opportunities, I went. It was my first time in a space with women affected by breast cancer. That experience I wanted to bottle up and take back to Atlanta. My cup was so full. I was the only black person there and wasn’t sure how I would get along or accepted. But we were all there with a shared experience. It was top notch and first class; flowers, customized gifts, separate hotel rooms, three meals catered a day. It was exactly what I needed and I did not know it. It was so thought out. The last night there, they had a party and I let the woman who was running this that I need to bring it to Atlanta. She said when I am ready, she will bring it here to Atlanta. That is what I want to do and see my advocacy going. I want to bring women together in these spaces so they’re not alone, so they have tools to take with them to continue their healing process. My sisters deserve to get this top-notch treatment.

We need to be able to have access to these tools associated with genetic testing. Money should not be a barrier.  We need the information to know what you want to do with the rest of your life. It is like opening Pandora’s box. You may get some information and must decide what you plan to do. Be prepared to act/take action. Share the information with your PCP. These things are really important. Genetic testing saved my life. It was the catalyst for a lot, and sharing it with my PCP. We can be at these tables where these decisions are being made and getting more WOC into these clinical trials and discussions so that the standard of care can truly be inclusive.

If you were to write a blog about yourself tomorrow, what would the title be?

I’m Thriving!

What is your dream trip/destination?

Anyplace that has a beach. I love being at the beach.

What is one thing that you would want the world to know about you that doesn’t have anything to do with breast cancer?

I want to find the little joys in life. I am working hard to stay in that space. Good, bad, and indifferent, I want to stay in that space.

What question would you ask someone you were conducting the interview?

In relation to the diagnosis and treatment, what is one thing that was not highlighted?

Being that person who always does everything for everyone. When I stepped back, not being that person showed me who would be that person or not. It showed me who is there for me or not. While it was hurtful, it was important to learn who you chose to share your time or space with.

How can our readers connect with you?

EM: alvarezam34@yahoo.com

Baddie Meetups here in Atlanta

This time getting to know Andrea through this interview just reinforced the multitude of connections amongst all of the Baddie sisters. We had so much in common, good and bad, that has happened in our lives not counting breast cancer. I think that some of the similarities allowed for the conversation between us to flow so naturally. We talked for hours effortlessly. 

I admire how you show up for yourself. Your intra-personal awareness of what you need and lean all the way into it, regardless of what is going on in your life is needed for many of us. That mindfulness does not come easy for everyone, and it seems that you have mastered it. Andrea, I see how you learn the lessons and realign. Continue to be gentle with yourself and it will show up for others that you encounter through your work. I cannot wait to see what you do within the breast cancer community. Continue to make your mark, Sis!