If you would have told me two and a half years ago that I’d be making friends with strangers who I met online, I would have laughed. I barely liked to make friends with new people in real life. But that changed after my breast cancer diagnosis in January 2020.
When I finished active treatment in October 2020, I was feeling tired, anxious, and overwhelmed. One day during a visit to my oncologist office, I was meeting with the physician assistant and I started crying. I shared with her how overwhelmed I felt. She said she could refer me to the social workers who could help me find a therapist and suggested that I look online to find others who have gone through a similar diagnosis. I chose the latter.
My online sleuthing started and I found a variety of groups. Honestly, there are so many and you can find different ones, based on your diagnosis. There are groups for previvors, triple negative breast cancer, metastatic, young survivors, implants, diep flap reconstruction, aesthetic flat closure, women of color, and so much more.
There are communities for those who want to read and not interact with anyone. Some of these communities provide a variety of blogs, vlogs, and resources for you to read and watch at your own pace. There are discussion board communities where you can go in and out of various topics and pick conversations that pertain to you. There are communities that host different online gatherings via zoom on various topics. There are communities that meet in person to exercise, cook, create art, and more. Some groups journal together.
I found my community online when I started following @hiphop_happyhour every Friday night. Trish and Tiff started going live on Instagram every Friday during the pandemic to play music, talk about pop culture, cancer trash, and be a gathering place for survivors. Through these interactions I found For the Breast of Us, an organization created to empower women of color affected by breast cancer through education, advocacy, and community.
First, I connected with a couple of Baddie Ambassadors via Instagram and then was encouraged to apply to be an Ambassador. I did and was accepted. This group of amazing, strong, beautiful women has changed my life.
With them, I found my voice. I found my purpose. I realized, what I needed was to help others. I wanted to be that beacon of hope that I was searching for during and after active treatment.
Being with other survivors filled a void in my life that I didn’t know I had. There are many side effects from treatment and medications. It was comforting to be with others who have experienced the same thing. I always appreciated my family and friends for their support, but while they cannot truly understand what it’s like to have chemo brain, neuropathy, joint paint, etc.
I have also learned so much from this community – things that I wish I knew before my mastectomy, before chemo, before radiation. My plan now is to pay it forward. I want to help others who may have questions.
At our most recent For the Breast of Us retreat that was sponsored by Living Beyond Breast Cancer, several of the other ambassadors talked about how I’ve changed and grown in the past year. I was touched by their words. I reflected on their statements and realized,
I am who I am today, because of this sisterhood. They helped me find my voice. They have helped me learn to advocate, not only for myself, but for others.
I’m so grateful to all the other For the Breast of Us Baddie Ambassadors and to all the survivors I’ve met in the past two years. They inspire me and propel me to be a better person.
I encourage anyone who is looking to connect, visit the various platforms and websites. Find the community that works best for you.
It’s a healing component that doesn’t come on a prescription pad.
