I don’t think that there’s anything that can properly prepare you for a mastectomy. My mother has had breast cancer twice and had shared the Cliff Notes version with me about life after surgery, but there are parts that are still mind-blowing.

Everyone’s experiences are different, but below is a list of five things I wish I’d known prior to my mastectomy.

1.    Each day gets better.

When I looked at myself in the mirror after surgery, flat and bruised, I was overwhelmed. I felt that normalcy was out of reach and I would never feel like myself again. I was wrong. Each day, you heal. Each day gets easier. More than a year later, I can’t hardly remember those first few days.  Hang in there!

2.    It’s okay to accept help.

I was so concerned with being needy and not wanting to inconvenience others that I didn’t accept the help offered; nor did I ask for help. It is one of the things I regret most, as help from others would have given my husband a much-needed break and given me a bit of company during the days I was alone. I was mostly struck by how much I missed interacting with others. Set up playdates with friends; invite them over to watch a movie or catch up on the Real Housewives of Atlanta shenanigans with you.

3.    Your body is in transition.

I wasn’t expecting my chest to feel like a pipe and being able to feel anything cool flowing through my chest (that was so weird!) Plus, the first couple of months with my limited range of motion, made me feel like a human T-Rex, and my expanders were rock-hard, unforgiving and unrelenting. But today – I’m back to all of my regular activities. Back to doing fifty-leven mom things a day, and balancing work and school without missing a beat – and wishing I had rested more when I had the opportunity.

4.    It’s important to capture the process. 

I am so grateful that I started an online journal months before my surgeries. It helped me to process my feelings and seeing the words served as a release. In the early days, I was uncomfortable sharing with others, so my affirmations to myself became the foundation of my strength many days. Also, take pictures! When you look back in a year, you will be excited to see how far you’ve come and your journey will serve as a blessing to others.

5.    Dim the background noise.

My decision to have preventative surgeries was the most difficult decision of my life.  There were so many differing opinions about the best decision for me to make, it left me crippled with self-doubt. I struggled with whether or not I was doing the right thing. The moment that I muted the voices of others and listened to my own and made the best decision for me and my family – I have never felt lighter – stronger – and more courageous.

So, the short version is: you got this! You are stronger than you think! With each passing day, you’ll get your second wind and at the end of it all, you will be healthy. You will be here. Here to make more precious memories with your family and live your amazing life!