Divorce was not part of the plan, but neither was getting breast cancer at 26, only two years into my marriage.

So I’m learning to plan, but to always remain open to God’s edits because despite how difficult some chapters may be, His plan is so much better than my own.

As with any relationship, hard times will either bring out the best or the worse in the people around you. They will either solidify the foundation or magnify the cracks. And after three years in therapy and three “one-more chances,” the foundation of my marriage crumbled.

But even so, God gave me beauty for ashes.

Two days.

That’s how long I asked my business partner to give me to get my head together after I was blindsided by a call to split assets — in the middle of the last reconciliation attempt.

Four days.

That’s how many consecutive days of panic attacks I had trying to figure out what would become of me and my life. There I was getting divorced at nearly 30, never having lived on my own and having only two remaining years before being able to try to conceive.

I felt devastated, embarrassed and angry. What followed was months of what felt like unwarranted sucker punches and a divorce process I managed with only a few hundred dollars and a Google PhD.

I did my best to handle it all with grace though. But there were times my grace ran low like the day I called my mom to talk me out of a “Waiting to Exhale” breakdown.

It was hard.

Had I not already done the hardest thing I’d ever done, beating cancer, the heaviness and uncertainty of it all might have broken me. But you know what they say, there is no force more powerful than a woman determined to rise.

As the life I knew dissolved around me, I spent countless hours rebuilding myself, learning to love and forgive myself, and most importantly, clinging to God and looking at everything that led up to this moment.

What were the signs I ignored? What dysfunctional habits had I been holding onto? What did I really desire in a partner and what kind of partner did I desire to be?

The day I finally moved into the first place I ever lived in on my own, I cried in the middle of the living room with my mom. I was scared of starting this new chapter and I really didn’t want to do it alone.

But overtime, I learned alone doesn’t equate to lonely and it’s a beautiful thing to enjoy your own company. It’s a powerful thing to find happiness and security on your own. Because if you’re never truly at peace with just yourself, how will you know if you’re selecting your tribe out of convenience? Not because they share your values or help you become a better person, but because they’re just the ones who chose to stick around.

Now, there are moments I dance around my living room, in the space that’s all mine and I say, “Thank you.”

There are moments I look at all the furniture I spent hours assembling on my own and I say, “Thank you.”

There are moments I wake up, stretch out across my bed and say, “Thank you.”

Thank you, God, for bringing me out of the valley; for providing a means for me to start over on my own terms; for the grace and mercy that literally made a way when I couldn’t see how I was going to piece my life back together.

I’ve decided the only L’s I take are lessons and I’m learning so much in this season. I’m learning how to find happiness and fulfillment within myself. I’m learning how to trust and love myself, again. And learning how to become the woman I’m destined to be — a warrior boss babe determined to die empty and make the rest of my life the best of my life.

So, no, divorce was not part of MY plan and neither was cancer.

However, both were part of God’s plan to help shape me into a woman who is blooming beautifully if I may say so myself.