As 2021 comes to a close, I’ve been in a period of reflection. This year has challenged and changed me in ways I’ve never imagined. I dove deeper into breast cancer advocacy, established myself as a working homeschooling mom, and started educating others on healing from trauma.
The biggest challenge I faced this year was to isolate myself and sit with my innermost thoughts. This was quite difficult for me as I had full-blown panic attacks when attempting meditation. I had to face my truth, acknowledge the role I played in my suffering, and peel back the layers of pain to find out who I am at my core.
This season of shadow work encouraged me to say yes to everything I ever desired. I remember during active treatment lying on my couch thinking about my dream life. In 2021, I began to make my dreams a reality by making these changes.
Moving past my fears. I am the Queen of a to-do list. I have many goals I want to accomplish, but anxiety would cause me to procrastinate. This year, I faced these fears by pushing myself to complete the tasks on my to-do list even when I felt overwhelmed or judged myself. Every time I met my fear head-on, God’s reward was sweet. In July 2020, Jasmine and Marissa asked me to include myself in the Baddie Directory. My fears kept telling me I was unworthy of being included, but this past January, I forced myself to put my name on the list. The next day I received a call from AnaOno Intimates about modeling for one of their upcoming photoshoots, which was one of the goals on my vision board. Fear can hold us back from living the life we deserve and desire; by pushing through them, we can experience unimaginable blessings.
SAY NO. Before breast cancer, I would say yes to everything asked of me in a shameful attempt to please everyone else.
But this year, I learned to say no, which became my new favorite sentence. I purposefully said no to anything that didn’t contribute to my peace and happiness—saying no helped me stop people-pleasing and overcommitting, which often led to my feelings of resentment. Start saying no to the things that are not contributing positively to your life.
Protect my peace. When I attended the Baddie retreat, I realized I was holding onto chaos in my life. Swimming in the hot sun in Florida and laughing with all the dynamic women, I was at peace for the first time in a long time, and I began to question why I couldn’t have that same feeling at home. I eliminated anything and anyone from my life that did not contribute to my peace. Peace is something we all deserve, but until we choose ourselves first and address the chaos in our lives, peace is difficult to maintain.
For me, 2021 was about healing from the inside out to start living the magical life I deserve.
We want to hear from you. How has 2021 challenged or changed you?
