I had become the patient; he became the caregiver. He saw me differently. Fragile. In pain. Suffering. All I wanted was to be loved in every way — to be a wife, a lover, a sexual being.
As my physical wounds heal, I find myself counting my scars, and tracing them with my fingers. But, rather than seeing mutilation, I see new life lines and possibilities in those scars.
Flaw + Awesomeness = FlawSomeness a great combination of words that has allowed me to embrace my keloid scar as being a part of what I call my Shade of Pink Story.
The first word that comes to mind when I think of my post-cancer body is “journey.”
Journey is the word used to define the complete treatment plan that a breast cancer patient must take, but what I didn’t realize is that each part of the breast cancer experience has its own journey.
Breast cancer literally and figuratively cut me down and built me up. It forced me to see the “real” directly in front of my eyes, not the things my mind made up for me to see.
I used to not want to take pictures from the chest down because of how I felt I looked. Now that I am two years out, it has gotten a lot better.
After lots of grounding and affirming, I had to fix my crown and remember who I am and whose I am!
I was then hit with the insta-browsing realization that everyone who has had breast cancer or a preventive mastectomy is in my tribe. Not because I found the #unilateralmastectomy, with gorgeous bodies flaunting all kinds of styles.
I know that beauty is skin deep, but my spirit took a hard hit and we are only beginning to rediscover the feminine goddess within.
But what I’ve come to realize is that I was only interested in “being” Tova 2.0 and not “becoming” Tova 2.0.
Your voice, your story, and your support can make a difference. Join For the Breast of Us in our mission to empower, support, and advocate for women of color across the globe. Together, we can create a future where every woman has the resources and support she needs to overcome breast cancer.
On the Web:
www.breastofus.com
www.breastofusfoundation.org
Email:
hello@breastofus.com
Welcome to our community—where hope thrives, strength is found, and sisters in the fight become family.
