For the Breast of Us

BADDIE BLOGS

Our mission is to empower women of color affected by breast cancer to make the rest of their lives the best of their lives through education, advocacy and community.

10 Things Your Friend With Breast Cancer Actually Wants to Hear

As a breast cancer survivor, I often meet people whose loved ones have been diagnosed with breast cancer. The number one question they always ask is “How can I help?”

To some this may seem like an easy question and something they should already know, but the truth is, it’s a difficult and complex question. No one is ever prepared for breast cancer. Unless they have been through it before, no one truly knows what type of help is needed.

Breast cancer isn’t just hard for the patient, but everyone around; this is something I have learned to accept and understand. Since I am almost two years out from treatment, I can say this now and fully believe it.

Now that I have time to reflect and think of the journey, I understand clearly how my journey was not only difficult for me but others around me, especially those who wanted to help me. Many times I expected people to know what kind of support I needed. But I realize now, I didn’t know what kind of support I needed.

As soon as I was diagnosed, people would offer to help, but I never knew exactly what to tell them. I lost myself. I never truly knew the extent of help I would need. But now being a survivor and reflecting on the many meaningful ways others have helped me, I know exactly how to offer help to someone going through a breast cancer journey.

Here are some of the best ways to offer help:

“I’ve made some dinner for you, what time can I drop it off?”

“ I’m going grocery shopping today, send me your list, and I will drop it off on the way home”

“When is chemo? I would love to come with you and binge watch on Netflix”

“I will pick the kids up this Saturday and take them out for ice cream”

“What time and day do the kids have soccer? I can help get them to and from soccer twice a week”

“On Sunday, I can come over and wash a couple loads of laundry”

“I can come over after work and walk your dog”

“What would you like for dinner? I would like to have dinner delivered on Mondays”

“The girls and I all chipped in to get you a bi-weekly cleaning service”

In my experience, to truly help a breast cancer patient and their family, the tasks have to be something truly beneficial to the family; something you can commit to with ease. You have to accept all responsibility for the task or chore,and you have to set a schedule. By doing this, you relieve your loved one from worrying about certain aspects of their life. Your consistent scheduled help eases their stress and creates some peace.

No help is too small. It can be daily, weekly, monthly. It’s all appreciated and has more value than you can ever imagine.

Your friend or loved one with breast cancer will be forever grateful.

advocacy, cosurvivor, family, friendships, Marquita Goodluck

Marquita Goodluck

Marquita Goodluck is a mother and Breast Cancer survivor who started writing children's books due to unfortunate circumstances in her life. Being a mother of three, she needed to find the best way to comfort her children as she encountered tough challenges within her life. Her first book, “I’ll be there every day, but in a different kind of way”, was created to prepare her children for the possible loss of a loved one. As her grandmother in law entered a nursing home, she knew it was essential to create an inspiring book that could provide peace and comfort to her children. So, she created “I’ll be there every day, but in a different kind of way!” in the image and spirit of her family, children, and her dear granny. Her second book, “BK’s mommy has Breast Cancer”, was written to help her children understand and deal with her Breast Cancer diagnosis. Being diagnosed with breast cancer with young children, she was inspired to write a heartfelt book that could inspire and help children cope with dealing with the journey of breast cancer. In her third book, “CRY, LEARN, ADJUST, FIGHT AND REPEAT”, Marquita walks you through the many strategies she utilized to combat the common fears, challenges, and obstacles that many breast cancer patients face. Being transformed by her journey as a breast cancer survivor, Marquita is inspired to live a life intent on paying it forward. Her goal is to give others struggling with breast cancer the gift of hope and the will to fight.